1. Amber - 311

Yet again, I was torn between two tunes: this one and the ultra-romantic "When I Fall in Love" by Nat King Cole, but in concluding this countdown, it was how each song made me feel that influenced my decision.  When I hear the dashing Mr. Cole sing his heart out, I call to mind this perfect love, what I had always imagined love to be; that is, before I knew love.  But with funk-punk 311, lead singer and Nebraskan native Nick Hexum altogether steers clear of the clichés of love, which can often get one in trouble, and won me with "Nothing good comes easily/Sometimes you gotta fight."  And, although he does a mighty fine cover of The Cure"s "Lovesong," I am most struck by his not even mentioning the four-letter word in "Amber."

"Brainstorm,
Take me away from the norm.
I got to tell you something,
This phenomenon.

I had to put it in a song.

And it goes like..." 

"Launched a thousand ships in my heart."

Yeah, that's what he'll do...court me with words.  So tell me, what color is your energy?

2. Lover Lay Down - Dave Matthews Band

If you’re looking for a band that sounds better live than they do in the recording studio, go see Dave Matthews and his mates in concert.  You won’t be sorry.  Part of the charm of Dave’s lyrics is in the poetic manner in which he orders his words.  I'd like to blame it on his South African education, but I don't believe that you can learn to write or even play like this...nay, it just comes naturally.

“Spring sweet rhythm
Dance in my head
Slip into
My lover's hands.
Kiss me.
Oh, won't you kiss me now?
And sleep I would
Inside your mouth.”

"Don't be us too shy
For knowing it's no big surprise
That I will wait for you.
I will wait for no one but you."

“Could I love you?
Could you love me?”

This is dedicated to the man who’ll eventually win my heart, wherever he may be.  And so, I shall wait for him, however long it may take.

3. God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

I wouldn't be a true California girl if I didn't give a shout-out to The Beach Boys, whose 1960's vinyl records also kept me company during my family's three year tour on the largest of the Ryukyu Islands.  Recognized for their close vocal harmonies and All-American persona (despite Brian Wilson's struggle with mental illness and substance abuse), The Beach Boys are also famous for evoking romance in their surf rock-esque songs.

“I may not always love you,
But long as there are stars above you,
You never need to doubt it,
I'll make you so sure about it."

"God only knows what I'd be without you."

Even though this song’s a walking contradiction with the lines “I may not always love you,” and then, “You never need to doubt it,” I still can’t help but include it on my list.  We all want someone to reassure us that his/her love for us is everlasting and I guess this is where we must place our trust not in that precious man or woman, but in our God; for "God only knows..."  And although it may be hard to admit, we may be better off without this lad or lass, especially if he/she leaves, because that means that someone better may be waiting in the wings.

4. Lovesong - The Cure

In addition to discovering The Beatles as a pre-teen, I also developed a fascination with the color black and took to wearing it on a daily basis, much to my mother’s dismay.  Many have credited another British band, The Cure, as having introduced the “goth” style of dress with front man Robert Smith popularizing it in his black clothing, disheveled hair, pale complexion, and use of makeup.  Regardless, this 1989 hit shows the softer side of Smith, as it was written as a wedding present to his then fiancée, Mary Poole. 

"Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am fun again."

"However far away, I will always love you.
However long I stay, I will always love you.
Whatever words I say, I will always love you.
I will always love you."

Perhaps the harshest lesson I’ve learned from the failure of my last relationship is that once someone utters the words, “I will always love you,” and later rescinds that statement, it is hard to trust that one was actually loved in the first place.  Furthermore, it is may be difficult to believe those words should they ever be spoken to one again, but then, I guess that's where the line "You make me feel like I am whole again" comes in.

5. And I Love Her - The Beatles

The Lennon/McCartney duo has produced some of the most romantic songs of the 20th century, particularly during the first five years of their partnership.  Although written and sung by Paul McCartney, this track appeared on The Beatles’ third album, duly named A Hard’s Day Night.  My first exposure to this band occurred in junior high, when my family was stationed in Okinawa, Japan and I bought my first CD, a compilation of their best songs.

“A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me.”

“Bright are the stars that shine,
Dark is the sky.
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her.”

There exists in the formative stages of love, a sense of innocence and assurance that nothing could go wrong, and that what one is feeling will surely last forever.  The ingredients to this confidence are grounded in the belief that love is eternal, which may seem like a naive notion, but it is this faith that we all strive to grasp.  However, what separates those who do consider love a life-time affair and those who don't is typically whether or not he/she has been hurt in the process.  Nevertheless, I don't doubt that there are many romantics such as myself who, even though they have failed at love, keep trying again.

6. At Last - Etta James

Having achieved popularity as a couple’s “first dance” song, this rendition is actually a cover by Beyoncé, who stars as R&B sensation Etta James in the film “Cadillac Records.”  Chronicling the life of record-company executive, Leonard Chess, played by Adrien Brody, and featuring many of the artists who recorded for the Chicago-based Chess Records, “Cadillac Records” is a walk down memory lane with music by Chucky Berry, Muddy Waters, and more.  Oh, and Adrien Brody steals the screen as the tall, dark, and handsome Polish-American Chess.  When he gives “Etta” that shy smile of his, I just melt. 

“At last
My love has come along.
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song.”

“Oh yeah, and you smile,
And then the spell was cast.
And here we are in Heaven
For you are mine at last.”

Although the search for love may prove to be laborious and/or wrought with emotion, when one is successful in the hunt and “captures” the heart of his/her beloved, nothing is sweeter and life literally becomes “like a song.”  This is the type of love that describes 50 year long marriages or the kind that when one spouse dies, the other never remarries.  And I would be honored if I could one day know a love like this...

7. Untouchable Face - Ani DiFranco

Often attacked for her bisexual orientation and the feminist leaning of her lyrics, Ani DiFranco and her signature staccato style, cross musical genres.  What I admire most about Ani, besides her vocal chords, is her concentration on the social issues that have defined our generation: racism, sexism, poverty, homophobia, reproductive rights, and war, even if they’re not topics that people want to hear.

“Tell you the truth I prefer
The worst of you.
Too bad you had to have a better half.
She's not really my type,
But I think you two are forever,
And I hate to say it but
You're perfect together.”

“And who am I,
That I should be vying for your touch?
And who am I?
I bet you can't even tell me that much.”

I was reminded that, on the road to healing, one of the critical stages of grief is that of anger.  None of the previous songs mentioned the anger that one feels in the loss of a lover; thus, my current regression.  Being angry is a sensible emotion, especially if one was dumped for someone else or is in love with someone who doesn't return the sentiment, etc., but anger can also propel us to action and to stand up for what we believe in. 

8. Enter From the East - Jewel

Alaskan songstress, Jewel, known for her folk/country melodies as well as her criticism of pop culture can be said to have the voice of an angel, so much so that it was a challenge to pick just one of her breathtaking ballads.  I finally settled on this live performance, not only because her concerts are always a treat, but also because the message of this particular piece is simply stunning.

"I went out a-wandering
Beneath an unknown sky.
The heavens all shook violently.
He caught my eye."

"Strange fruit fell.
It struck me to the core.
My heart became a single flame,
It wanted nothing more."

"My heart has four empty rooms:
Three wait for lightning and one waits for you."

In my opinion, the search for true love can be likened to the path toward nirvana; hence the “enter from the east” allusion.  Nirvana is the Buddhist attainment of a peaceful state of mind that is free from craving, anger, and other afflicting states.  The word literally means "blowing out" and, in the Buddhist context, it refers to the blowing out of the “fires” of greed, hatred, and delusion.  In the Christian sense, the same sort of compassion for all and love for one’s neighbor is the ultimate form of happiness regardless of one’s religious beliefs. 

9. The Other Half of Me - Bobby Darin

In trying to decide whether to select this optimistic ditty or Frank Sinatra's "It Had to Be You" for the #9 spot, which was the song that I shared with a past love, I deemed it wiser to choose the one that didn't have any negativity tied to it.  Growing up a fan of the Big Band era and the charming crooners of the 50's & 60's (courtesy of my paternal grandfather, who always had his radio tuned to the old-school station), my fondness for this type of music remains precisely since it is so romantic.

“Somewhere there has to be
The other half of me,
The other half of me
I’ve yet to meet."

"One special someone
Whose heart has a similar leaning.”

Who doesn't believe that his/her Mr. or Ms. Right is out there?  As children, we've been conditioned through fairy tales, films, and even songs to trust that our "special someone" or soul mate is just waiting to be discovered, and that when we do meet him/her, it will be love at first sight.  For me, I've only felt that instant attraction or chemistry with only two people: my 3 year-old godson and 9 month-old "niece," upon holding them for the first time.  But hey, there's a first time for everything, right?

10. Magnificent - U2

Given my fetish for all things Irish, would it come as any surprise that while The Cranberries were the first group of musicians that I saw in concert, 15 years later, U2 would be the most recent band to earn that honor?  Despite the fact that I missed the first five songs in their set due to hellish traffic, I firmly believe it was a sign from above that, upon gaining access to Carter-Finley, Bono began singing "Magnificent."  Like a school girl, I took off running to find my seat, leaving my companions in my dust, and did a half lap 'round the stadium, in heels of all shoes, before I realized that I had altogether missed our section.      

“Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar.”

"I was born, I was born
To sing for you.
I didn't have a choice
But to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to."

To me, this song has nothing to do with the relationship between two lovers.  I could be over-analyzing it, but when it comes to surviving a break-up or any tragedy for that matter, the only one who we can ever really trust is God.  I must admit that I didn't always have faith that He had the best-laid plans for me, because in my prayers, I asked "Why" questions instead of those that leaned in the "How do you want me to live?" direction, which are the only ones He seems to answer.  Ordinarily, one eventually figures out the "whys" once he/she knows how to proceed...

Anyway, the moral of the story is this: it is only by loving and losing that we ever really know what it is to love, and in being open to love, do we ever really know how to love again.

11. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice

My introduction to this darling Dubliner occurred when two of his songs appeared in the adult love story “Closer,” starring four of my favorite actors and actresses: Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, and Julia Roberts.  Capturing themes such as attraction, betrayal, and truth, both the film and theatre versions hauntingly "focus on the politics of four people trading partners for lust."  Apparently, the lyrics of "The Blower's Daughter" are said to have parallels to these themes as well.

“And so it is,
Just like you said it would be.
...No love, no glory,
No hero in her sky.”

“I can't take my mind off of you.
I can't take my mind off of you.
I can't take my mind off of you.
...'Til I find somebody new.”

There's that intoxicating stage in the beginning of a new romance when we can't think of anyone else but the object of our fancy, but on the flip side, at the end of the affair and we've maybe taken to tears, we can't stop our minds from reliving all the memories either.

Incidentally, Damien's last line, although hopeful, brings up a debatable point on how long to mourn the death of a relationship.  Most humans can't stand to be alone, so they tend to rebound and find themselves entangled with someone new to "erase and replace," if you will.  I've been guilty of this, too, so I can't throw any stones, but I recognize the benefits of actively choosing to be single, even if it can be lonely at times.

12. Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You - Pink via Led Zeppelin

I’ve earned a helluva lot more respect for the artist known as P!nk when crossing paths with this cover of hers, because damn, she can sing some Zeppelin!  Even though Anne Bredon, an American folk singer, is the original author of this classic break-up ballad, Pink's interactions with her talented accompanist also convey the mood of that horrid "We need to talk" message.

“Babe, baby, baby,
I’m gonna leave you.
I said baby, you know I’m gonna leave you.
I’ll leave you when the summertime,
Leave you when the summer comes a’rollin’.”

“Baby, baby, I don’t wanna leave you,
I ain’t jokin’ woman, I got to ramble.”

According to Colin Singleton, the dork-chic anagrammatist in John Green’s An Abundance of Katherines, “the world contains precisely two kinds of people: Dumpers and Dumpees.  Everyone is predisposed to being either one or the other, but of course, not all people are COMPLETE Dumpers or Dumpees” (Green 59).  However, experience has proven me to be...alas, a “dumpee,” as I’ve not had much luck in the love department...and rather than leaving, I’m traditionally the one who gets left.

13. Linger - The Cranberries

Speaking of firsts, this Limerick band took my so-called concert virginity when I had the pleasure to see them perform whilst in high school.  Completely smitten by Dolores O'Riordan's Irish brogue, I vowed to cross the pond one day, and can proudly say that I've achieved that dream not once, but twice now.  Sigh...and how I'm always looking for a reason to return.

“I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey, so did you.
So why you were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?"

"If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you."

“You got me wrapped around your finger.
Do you have to let it linger?”

The loss of trust is one of the worst possible blows to a committed relationship, especially when it’s the result of infidelity.  Generally, whomever found him/herself “cheated” has a choice to make...whether to give up on the guilty party or to risk the prospect of repeat occurrences.  In the case of the latter, it more often than not is much harder to let go.

14. Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin

It all started when, as a teenager, I was browsing through my father's LP collection and chanced upon his prized "Led Zeppelin III" album.  From the moment I first heard Bobby Plant's bluesy voice and Jimmy Page's gut-wrenching guitar solos, I was hooked; therefore, my countdown will spotlight two of their angsty tunes. 

"But baby,
Since I've been loving you,
I'm about to lose
My worried mind."

"Said I've been crying.
Oh, my tears they fell like rain.
Don't you hear,
Don't you hear them falling?"

Why is it that we never listen to our friends or family when they voice their concerns about our significant other?  It seems to me that we long to learn that lesson the hard way...or perhaps we're just too proud or too blind to see the flaws of those we love until it's sadly too late.